100% Reason to Remember My Name
My Survival Equation
They say life is a numbers game. If that’s true, here’s my formula so far:
10% luck – The kind that comes when you’ve cried so hard your ribs ache, and then your phone dings with one message that says, “I see you.” The job offer that arrives right as the savings run out. The friend who shows up unannounced with food when you forgot to eat for two days.
20% skill – All the things I learned while falling apart. How to write a cover letter through panic attacks. How to smile when asked “How are you?” by people who don’t want the real answer. How to mute toxic family members without guilt.
15% concentrated power of will – The days I stayed alive just to spite the darkness. The nights I white-knuckled the edge of my mattress, repeating “Not today” to the thoughts hissing “Just end it.” The mornings I showed up anyway, even when my bones felt like lead.
5% pleasure – The tiny rebellions that kept me human. The 3 AM dance parties in my underwear. The cheap wine drunk straight from the bottle. The pages of journals filled with “Fuck everything” in colorful markers.
50% pain – Heartbreak that rearranged my DNA. Friends who left when the depression got “too heavy.” The betrayal that made me question if I ever really knew people. The derealization that made even sunlight feel like a special effect.
And 100% reason to remember the name… To remember MY NAME – because I’m still here.
Still breathing through the panic. Still creating despite the void. Still trusting, somehow, after being proven wrong so many times.
If you’re doing the math on your own survival right now, let me save you the calculation:
Your luck percentage might feel low today, but it counts.
Your willpower is more evident than you think—you’re here, aren’t you?
Your pain doesn’t negate your strength; it proves it.
And your name especially if you’re like me? Worth remembering.
PS: The next time someone asks “How did you get through it?” tell them:
“Badly. But I got through.”