2025 said 'Let me humble you' and I said 'NOT TODAY, SATAN

(I lied. It humbled me.)

Me, January 1st, 2025: "This is my year! New beginnings! Growth!"
2025 by May: "What the helly?"

Y’all. Five months into 2025, and I’ve already:

• Lost three gigs and a job opportunity like a politician loses election promises

• Watched friends exit stage left faster than a Lagos Danfo driver seeing Police

• Hit "Opay account balance: ₦28.5" broke (the kind where even your abokie dashes you suya)

• Had depression try to move in like that auntie you don’t like during Christmas

At some point, I asked God: "Are we doing character development or punishment?" But plot twist; I’m still standing. Not thriving, not "winning," just here, alive and stubborn, with my garri and a WiFi connection.

This became my motto for real.

2025’s Cheap Lessons (Because We Must Find Meaning):

1. "Closed Doors = Divine Ctrl+Alt+Delete"
   That client who ghosted after 3 meetings? Probably wanted to pay in "exposure and referrals." Dodged a bullet.

2. "People Come & Go Like NEPA"
   Some friendships are just "seasonal," like Nigeria’s electricity supply. Grieve and move on.

3. "Rock Bottom is a Trampoline (Theoretically)"
   No money + no motivation = Either you crack or start memeing your pain. I chose both.

The Bounce-Back (Garri-Powered Edition):
Am I "better than ever"? Abeg, let’s not lie. But:

• I’ve upgraded from "Why me?" to "Try me."

• My garri stash is supreme (sugar, groundnut, and milk privileges)

• I now side-eye adversity like my mum side-eyes my piercings

Why You Should Care:
If you’ve ever:
✔️ Checked your bank alert and laughed like a madman ("₦200? For what?")
✔️ Been betrayed by someone you "chopped life" with ("After all the hotspot I shared despite using MTN!")
✔️ Felt like quitting but drank hot okpa with chilled coke instead ("Survival is in our blood.")

…then welcome to your safe space. This blog is for those of us navigating adulthood on "Nigerian Hard Mode."

Subscribe if you want to:

• Laugh at my L’s (I’ll laugh at yours too—no beef)

• Scream into the void together ("Tinubuuuuuu!")

• Witness my delusional comeback in real-time ("I will buy that house in Lekki.")

P.S. Next post: "Ment or Malaria: How to Hustle Without Running Mad in This Lagos Life" – stay tuned.

2025, you won’t win. I have garri, stubbornness, and a Twitter account just for crashing out. Let’s fight.

(Drop a comment: "What’s your 2025 villain origin story?" Let’s suffer together.)

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