Suffering Wisely
There is a kind of suffering that hollows you out, leaves you gasping for air in the middle of the night, makes you forget your own name. And then there is the kind you choose, the temporary discomfort that leads somewhere worth reaching.
The difference between the two? One breaks you. The other builds you.
We’ve all been fed the lie that suffering is noble. That if it hurts, it must be worth it. But that’s not true. Not all pain is purposeful. Some of it is just pain, useless, grinding, the kind that leaves you emptier than you started. The trick is learning to tell the difference.
Take the job that drains you but pays for the life you want. That’s strategic suffering. You endure the toxicity, but with a deadline. You save aggressively, network quietly, and plot your exit like a prison break. The discomfort has an expiration date.
Now take the job that drains you and leaves you too exhausted to dream of anything better. That’s just suffering. No goal. No endgame. Just a slow bleed of your sanity for a paycheck that barely covers the bills.
The same applies to relationships. There’s a difference between:
Loving someone through a rough season (knowing the core is still good)
And loving someone who is the rough season (with no calm in sight)
One is patience. The other is self-destruction.
Suffering wisely means asking yourself:
"Is this the price of getting where I need to go or just the cost of staying stuck?"
"Am I tolerating this for something, or just because?"
It doesn’t mean bailing at the first sign of discomfort. Growth requires friction. But it does mean refusing to romanticize misery. Some bridges need to be crossed. Others need to be burned.
The goal isn’t to avoid suffering altogether. It’s to make sure the suffering is working for you, not just on you.
So stay in the arena but know when it’s time to change the game.